Gratitude — My Gateway to Inner Contentment and Joy
Let’s start with defining what I mean by inner contentment and joy — a state of being content and happy in spite of (or despite) your external circumstances. A quiet sense of peace and joy that no external person or situation can rob you of, because it’s not created by what’s on the outside. It comes from a deep place within you.
A few weeks ago, I found myself in a funk. I was feeling unhappy. It was a Friday afternoon. I was exhausted from the week — a good exhaustion, the kind accompanied by a sense of accomplishment.
As I relaxed, I quietly reflected on the past few months and how far I’d come in working towards my goals. A new month was beginning, and it’s common to reflect. “June is around the corner… we’re halfway through the year… I still haven’t achieved the income goal I had set. My big projects are moving slower than I had hoped. I still don’t have the capital I need for them. Six months and not a significant difference. The year is almost done — who’s to say the other half will be different?”
As I sat with that realization, my internal antagonist started dishing out facts. Disappointment crept in, quietly sucking the energy out of me. I gradually began to feel the effects of all the shortfalls in the form of loud, discontented mental chatter. “Oh, I can’t do this… I won’t be able to do that… I’m delayed further in getting started on this… All this work and I’m still not seeing the payoff.”
And just like that, all the momentum and enthusiasm that had carried me in the past few months unraveled — like a knitted garment pulled into nothing but a pile of wool. That feeling stayed with me until bedtime.
There was night, there was day — a first day. Saturday.
I woke up with what I can only describe as a sense of urgency — to push harder, to work more, to achieve my goals. My mind was restless. What else can I do? I asked myself. What else can I create? Come on, Vee — you teach this!
I sat down for a brainstorming session, came up with a handful of ideas, and resolved to take action. And yet, underneath it all, there was a quiet depression. The kind that lingers when you’re forcing things. I didn’t feel inspired or excited — just mentally drained.
I prayed. I walked. I resisted the urge to search for a motivational video to snap me out of the funk. There was still an internal knowing: you can’t force inspiration. I eventually decided to simply let go of trying to be productive and to fix things, and allowed myself to just be. I hung out with the kids and went about my day.
Night came. Then day — a second day. Sunday.
Night came. Then day — a second day. Sunday.
Still feeling off, I made my morning coffee and took a gentle stroll in the yard. I figured some fresh air would do me good. I reminded myself: The reason I feel this way is because I’m fighting with reality. I’m wishing things were different, and by doing that, I’m refusing to accept what is.
The thing about reality is — it waits for no acceptance. It just is.
“When I argue with reality, I lose — but only 100 percent of the time.” I thought, remembering the words of Byron Katie.
I prayed. I quietly tried to surrender to my reality. I was now in a space where I could see the source of the funk — my own thinking — but I still couldn’t get out of it. I was in a more peaceful funk. Still feeling funky, but with the anxiety starting to melt away and some peace beginning to set in.
There was night. Then day — a third day. Monday.
The funk was back — full force.
What do I even work on today, feeling the way I do? I wondered.
After making some coffee, I sat down to pray. I poured out my heart to God — telling Him everything that was frustrating me and making me unhappy. I listed it all: this project, that project, this goal, that goal, provision for my family, this dream…
Then I remembered a scripture as I was about to wrap up: Philippians 4:6 — “Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, along with thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God.”
I thought, I’ve made my petitions known to God… and then remembered: “along with thanksgiving.”
Oh yes! I need to give thanks as well.
So I started giving thanks for everyday blessings.
It was a cold morning. I had just finished drinking coffee — a luxury for many — while seated at a dining table I once longed to have, wearing my cozy pajamas in a warm winter flat. Privilege.
My kids were off to school — private school. They had winter uniforms, new school shoes. They were warm. My eldest was dropped off by my husband, and my little one picked up at our gate by his school bus. Privilege.
There was food in the fridge. Water from a tap. Clean water — flowing right into our home. Do you know what a privilege that is? I thought to myself.
And electricity — to heat the water. Oh, how I love a hot shower. Privilege.
There is peace in my home. Our family gets along well. There is love here. My husband is my best friend. My kids make me happy (aside from the general taxation of parenting). They’re good kids. It’s everything I once prayed for. Privilege.
I am healthy. My family is healthy. I was about to work out — strong and well enough to exercise. Privilege.
So what exactly was lacking?
Aren’t these the things that truly matter?
And then it dawned on me: I had been focused on what I don’t have — and on trying to get those things — and lost sight of all the blessings I do have.
As I was talking to myself, I even reframed blessings as privileges — to remind myself how many things I enjoy that others only dream of. That is the reality.
I’ve never gone without food, shelter, or clothing. I have a business and get to do meaningful work that helps people. I prayed for this.
There are people who support my work and believe in me. What a gift. Do you know how much that means to a small business owner? Having people who believe in you? Who give you opportunities, who pay for your services because they see value in your work?
I’m not trying to be dramatic — this is literally what was going through my mind. I didn’t even notice I had shifted from prayer to inner dialogue. In that moment, I resolved in my heart: From here on, I will spend my days focusing on the little things — the everyday blessings in my life.
A Daily Practice
Since that day, I cannot explain the joy and gratitude I’ve felt.
I slow down and thank God in every moment I remember — even for what seems mundane.
Just yesterday, I was praying over my breakfast — coffee and scones — and instead of the usual “Thank you for the provision of this food,” I said, “I love scones! Thank you for indulging me with something I enjoy.”
I thank Him for every conversation with a client or potential client. For every opportunity. Every open door. For the beauty around me — the beauty I sometimes forget when I’m caught up in my thoughts.
I thank Him as I walk — for the legs that carry me. As I snuggle into bed — for the warmth and comfort. As I buy groceries — for the ability to afford this loaf of bread or this pack of pears. As I drive to appointments — for the privilege, luxury, and convenience of having a car. As I talk on the phone with my mum — that I still have her in my life. As I hug my husband and children — for the experience of love.
Lately, we’ve had organized power cuts. And twice, I hadn’t made dinner when they hit — so I drove into town to buy food. Do you understand the level of privilege?
On that Monday morning when I started to realize how blessed I already am, I felt almost silly for even complaining.
This practice of gratitude got me out of my funk and has truly been a gateway to joy and inner contentment. I carry an inexplicable joy — not because something external has changed, not because I’ve achieved a new goal, but simply because I’m intentionally focused on what’s going right in my life. And I can’t help but thank God for that. I’m so focused on what is going well, I barely have time to dwell on what’s not.
I’m learning something new about this thing called joy — and this thing called contentment.
I’m discovering for myself that there is so much joy available, even when life isn’t exactly how I want it to be. There is still joy.
It affirms what I’ve always believed about the kind of joy that comes from God: that it’s an internal state of being, not dependent on circumstances. With my eyes fully focused on what’s going well in my life, I can’t help but feel loved — like, “Man, God loves me.” I see evidence of His love in everything.
And this feeling of love… I don’t even have the words to describe it.
This practice of gratitude pulls me into the present — into this moment — into the now. And out of ruminating about the past (should have, could have) and out of worrying about tomorrow.
In this moment, I have everything I need.
In this moment, I am okay.
In this moment, I am blessed.
I just wanted to share this experience with you. I don’t know if there are any lessons here for you to glean.
Maybe it inspires a shift in perspective.
Maybe it nudges you to start practicing a little more gratitude.
Maybe it helps you see something you weren’t seeing before.
Or maybe it doesn’t resonate with you right now — and that’s okay too.
Maybe this will remain here as a record for me when I’ve lost my way and find myself caught in another funk — or for you to come back to when you’re ready to hear the message.
Whatever the case may be, my intention was simply to share. I felt called to share this — as an expression of the love that is currently overwhelming me.
Thank you for reading it.
My prayer for you: May an awareness of God’s love be the light that carries you. And may it lead you to a joy that none can rob or erode.
I love you.
Vee